


The Problem With Being a Lone Wolf

by AliceKane



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, not about werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16047032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceKane/pseuds/AliceKane
Summary: Between the chaos of Nationals and Worlds, Beca and Chloe get a chance to grow closer together now that the sophomores have moved into the Bella house.





	1. Chapter One

Beca wore her independence like a cool piece of jewelry. She mouthed off to the adults in her life like it was nothing, she developed a talent all on her own and planned to make a career out of it. She was doing her thing and no one could bother her, and she projected it outward so everyone could see, and hopefully, leave her alone. 

She didn’t need to keep her friends close to her, or even her family, not like the other kids her age. She knew some of her classmates wouldn’t even be able to _find_ college without Mommy and Daddy holding their hand right up to their dorm room door, but she was gonna get a cab and go it alone. She could handle herself. 

She hadn’t always been happy. 

But her pride, and the confidence she had in herself and her independent nature kept her spirits up. After all, she was closer to adulthood than anyone else her age, and that was the biggest head start she had when it came to making it big. 

That was how she felt before her freshman year. Before she moved into the Bella house, before the Barden Bellas won nationals, before she had her first boyfriend, before she joined an acapella group to compromise with her father, before a redheaded weirdo turned up in her shower stall. 

_Now_ she was a little different. Secretly. On the inside. Because now she didn’t feel so independent. Now she had friends, and now, _that_ was what was keeping her spirits up in light of the fact that she was way farther from adulthood than she thought. 

“Wait, Beca, did you preheat the oven?” 

“Um… no.” Her hand hovered over the buttons. “What was the temperature again?” 

“Four twenty-five.” Chloe beamed at her, even though she sucked so bad at cooking she couldn’t even remember to push a few buttons. 

The two took their seats at the kitchen table, everything prepared and nowhere to put it. 

So they stared. Straight ahead at raw pork chops. And Beca felt stupid. 

It was only September and already Beca had gone from being ecstatic to leave her old roommate behind and move into a real house, to crushed that she was so bad at adult life. 

“Should we bake some biscuits too? Or we could sautee some vegetables, you don’t know how to do that yet either, right? I could show you!”

“That’s alright, I think I’ve reached my fuck-it-up quota for the week,” she said, kicking her foot at the tiled floor. 

“What? What are you talking about, it’ll be fine.” Chloe looked at her closely for the first time that evening, brows furrowed. “Why are you so bummed out? Did something happen that’s not… pork related?” 

“Well, yeah!” She said with faux enthusiasm and a dead smile. “Haven’t you noticed that I’m the biggest loser ever?” 

“Of course I haven’t… noticed that. It’s not even true.” 

“Can’t cook, used too much soap on my laundry, couldn’t figure out my car battery died, messed up my class schedule, and oh yeah _can’t get a job_ cause I’m the only moron on campus with no experience.” 

“Well when you put it like that…” 

“Thanks, Chlo.” She slumped in her seat, defeated. 

She hated looking stupid in front of Chloe more than anything. After all, their first meeting was mostly just Beca talking shit about everything Chloe was passionate about, and within a week she was eating her words and auditioning. And Chloe was so supportive…

And really, any time Beca had made a fool of herself Chloe was there. When she tried to go rogue and wound up retuning to the Bellas with her tail between her legs, when she and Jesse would have blow out fights and she would come crying to Chloe, but still insist that they should stay together… and then he dumped her. 

“You could always put it another way, if you wanted to.” 

“What? How?” 

“In only a month out of the dorms, you’ve started learning to cook, learned an important lesson about car maintenance, and have become very familiar with the job application process.” 

“That’s…” Chloe was giving her another sunny smile, like she really did believe Beca was a totally normal, completely competent girl. “Maybe.”

“Maybe? Hmm.. So maybe I can keep teaching you how to cook?” 

How was she so lucky? The one person whose opinion counted the most in her life wound up being the least judgmental sweetheart she had ever met. 

“…You can keep teaching me how to cook.” She relented, covering up her smile as Chloe bounced up from her seat to wrap her in a hug. 

BMCBBMCBBMCBBMCB

“Dad, it’s got nothing to do with me!” Beca was caught between yelling and whispering in an attempt to hide the fact that she was on the phone from the rest of the house. 

“Well it’s not my fault that you have a girlfriend, either!” She crawled across her bed to sit on her pillows, tucking herself into the corner of the room as far away from the door as possible. 

“Really? You’re gonna correct me on that? Girlfriend, fiancée, _wife,_ it’s never mattered to you before!” She yanked one of the pillows out from under her, sandwiching her head between it and the wall. 

“No, I’m not going! Why would I go? I don’t care about her. I literally do not care. Is it so hard for you to understand that you and I are two different people, with two different lives, and I don’t give a shit about her?” If she opened up her window and chucked her phone into the yard, would things work out okay? Probably.

“How can you be surprised? You raised me not to be there for people, didn’t you, and I have way less of a reason to be there for her than you ever had to be there for us!” 

Silence. She actually got him to hang up first that time. 

She wished she could do something more cathartic than pressing the end call button, it was way less satisfying than slamming a door. So she flung her arm out and tossed it on the floor, somewhat satisfied by the ‘thunk’ it made before it helplessly skittered across the wood. 

And then her door creaked open and suddenly Chloe Beale was seeing her huddled in a corner hiding behind a pillow. 

“Uhh…hi.” Chloe said, wide eyed and probably wondering about Beca’s mental state. 

“Hey. I was just… um, talking on the phone,” she said, pointing unconvincingly at the device on the floor. 

“Oh, cool.” God _why_ was she so awkward. “Well, if you’re done, would you want to help me outside? I wanna give this place a makeover, no one ever takes care of it." 

“Uh…’kay,” Beca mumbled, tossing the pillow to the ground, once again grateful that Chloe was choosing to leave her with her dignity intact. 

As it turned out, Chloe Beale, the girl Beca had immediately looked down on, was good at everything. And for whatever reason, she loved pulling Beca along too. 

“So here,” Chloe said, leading Beca to several cans of paint. “The borders around the windows are all chipping, I was thinking it wouldn’t be too hard to spruce them up.” 

“Sure.” How hard could it be? Only she’s never painted anything. 

“I redid my room a few times growing up,” Chloe went on, all warm confidence while she dug roles of tape out of a box of supplies. 

And from there, it was a lot of hot sun and sweat and Beca wasn’t quite sure why she had agreed to it all. But Chloe chirped on about everything else she did in high school, and about growing up in Florida as a girl that had all the fun she possible could have, and Beca would catch herself smiling despite everything. 

“Oh, no, Beca it’s getting on your pants.” 

“I know, I gave up a long time ago.” 

“It’s on your arm too…” 

“And my hands.” 

Her smile grew as Chloe laughed.

“And your… your face, Bec.” 

“Yup.” And finally she tore her eyes away from her splotchy, mediocre work and took in Chloe’s expression. The girl seemed absolutely delighted to be spending time with her, and she wracked her brain trying to figure out why, but came up drawing blanks. 

But she liked it too. She had had more fun letting Chloe boss her around this past month than she had had her whole senior year. 

The sweat running down her back didn’t matter and the glare of the sun was suddenly easy to ignore, because Chloe, flushed from her work with sweaty strands of hair stuck to her forehead and the side of her face, popular girl beloved by her entire high school, was smiling at her with the kind of smile she imagined the cool kid she used to think she was would deserve. 

And then distantly, from two floors above them, her ringtone drifted out her open bedroom window and her mood plummeted along with the spark of happiness she was daring to let Chloe see in her eyes. 

And Chloe’s own happiness followed suit. 

“What’s wrong? Is that an important call?” 

“N-no. It’s not. I can let it go.” She turned back to her brush, trying not to grind her teeth as it started up again, signaling a second call. 

“Is it… Jesse?” 

Funny that both her father and Jesse could put her in the same state of obvious distress. 

“No, no… it’s… my Dad.” 

“Oh… Did he upset you before?” Chloe followed Beca’s lead and went back to work, considerately trying to sound uninterested. And failing. 

Every now and then she would try to dig a little deeper into Beca’s personal life, and every time she would be rebuffed. But maybe this time, Beca would let her in. Just a little. 

“Yeah. He, uh…” she went to wipe the sweat off her brow but smeared some of her arm paint over her face instead. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Chloe studiously keeping a straight face. “His wife is having a family reunion and he’s really pushing me to go. Even though it has nothing to do with me.” 

“Have they been married long?” 

“Going on six years.” 

Chloe was quiet, but she could feel the question. ‘Why don’t you count as family.’ 

“Dude, how are you so perfect at this? Yours is coming out so evenly, mine keeps clumping up.” 

Lame. She was so lame. There was a little needle in her heart reminding her how much she wanted someone there for her, but the rest of her could only ever deflect. 

“Here Becs, lemme show you.” 

BMCBBMCBBMCBBMCB

“But movie night is a Bella _tradition,”_ Chloe called to her from downstairs. 

Fat Amy had dug a box out from under her bed and was flipping through a small collection of DvDs. “Yeah, loser, come watch some flicks with us. What, you’re really busy fucking up that track?” 

“The track is… fine,” she frowned down at her roommate, before yelling at their open doorway, “I don’t really like movies!” 

“And you never will if you don’t watch some!” Came her answer, before Chloe’s voice was drowned out by the other girls as they gathered in the living room. 

“Give it up, shorty,” Fat Amy said, gathering up a few discs. “You’re not gonna turn down Chloe.” 

Beca scoffed. “Were not attached at the hip, I can go one evening without hanging out with her.” 

“But you won’t.” Fat Amy shot her a wink. “’Cause it’s _not_ the hip you’re attached at.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Her roommate just laughed at her as Chloe popped her head in the room. “Come on you guys, popcorn’s ready.” She shot a firm look at Beca before retreating. 

The movies were what Beca expected. They started out with some cheesy romcoms that reminded her of what young, idiot eighteen year old her thought she and Jesse might grow up to be. Some of the male love interests even reminded her of how Jesse used to flirt. 

She just ate her popcorn and stared sullenly at the screen, trying to enjoy her friends’ laughter and small bits of gossip. 

At some point during the occasional shuffles for snacks and bathroom runs, Chloe snagged the spot on the couch next to her, and kept poking her in the side whenever she let a scowl overtake her. And for whatever reason, each time she looked over at Chloe, her features morphed against her will into a smile. She just hoped the redhead hadn’t noticed the newfound power she had over her. 

Then they moved onto comedies and busted out the booze, and thank god, because the next flick had a divorcee finding love in a new wife despite his kids’ best efforts. And down went the tequila, no mixers. 

Now when Chloe jabbed at her, her brain was so numbed down the odd smile came slowly, and her eyes were so glassy she could feel that it didn’t quite reach them. But she was cognizant enough to realize that her friend was getting a little upset, so she put the bottle down and didn’t protest when Stacie swiped it. 

The other girls were allowed to get drunk, but not her. That was the message she was getting from Chloe and though she didn’t understand it, the genuinely concerned vibes she was picking up on compelled her to comply. 

And that meant she wasn’t totally blacked out when they switched to the final stage of tonight’s marathon, childhood nostalgia. 

Somewhere between princesses and woodland creatures, she realized that she was being bombarded by memories of a happy family with a mamma and a dad and their teeny tiny daughter, and though her breathing was under complete control and she wasn’t making a sound, tears were streaming down her face. 

If she just kept still, if she just sank into the couch enough, if she could just pretend _hard_ enough, she could let herself hope that Chloe wouldn’t see. But the older girl had been checking on her mood all night, and sure enough she _felt_ Chloe notice the state she was in, and then there was a warm, soft palm cupping her cheek and dragging the tears away as they fell. 

If hours ago a single look could draw a smile out of her, she didn’t know what it would do to her now. So she wouldn’t look at her sweet friend, even as she continued to clean up her face and ruffle her hair affectionately. 

By the time the credits rolled the rest of the girls were drunk or sleeping, but there was still a stirring in the room that meant that the end of movie night was understood. And though Beca had allowed Chloe to shift close to her, and lay her arm over the couch behind her shoulders, she bolted before any of the other girls could flip on a light. 


	2. Chapter Two

4 AM rolls around and Chloe rolls over in bed, once again woken up by a small voice growing louder, and quieter, and louder again outside her window. 

Lately it seemed like every other night Beca would be up at odd hours fighting with her father, over what Chloe didn’t know. Sometimes it would be early enough in the night that she would be getting ready for bed when she heard the front door creak as Beca stepped out, she assumed so the noise wouldn’t disturb their housemates. But Chloe’s room was on the first floor and that meant that at times she was hearing Beca’s muted frustration for hours on end. 

Before she knew what was going on, she thought it was cute to see a sleepy Beca nodding off on the couch, or staying in all day to shuffle around in her pajiamas. But soon enough she started to notice the bloodshot look to Beca’s eyes, and her usual sass turning into silence. 

Of course Beca went out of her way to hide it from everyone else, but it was a surprise to Chloe that it worked, and the rest of the Bellas didn’t notice the difference at all. So Chloe was left with a conundrum: leave Beca to herself like she clearly wanted, or try to push her luck and risk making her angry, and maybe even more upset than she was. 

The front door squeaked open and she held her breath, listening to Beca take twice as long as normal to put her coat in the closet so that she wouldn’t make any noise. And when the lightest footsteps she had ever heard padded toward, and then past her door, she was left with an ache in her heart. 

But then something new happened. The telltale whirring of a phone on vibrate went off and Beca’s footsteps didn’t reach the stairwell. 

And there was quiet…

And quiet… 

…Quiet…

And then a sob made Chloe jump. Casting her blanket aside she got up, tiptoeing to her door and opening it just enough to peek through. 

Beca stood with her back to Chloe’s room, phone in hand as messages popped up one after the other without her making a single move to respond. 

As moments slipped by, Beca’s shoulders would shake with soundless crying, but she was otherwise as stock still as Chloe, who’s hand tightened against the door every time her little friend was so obviously struck by whatever was being said to her. 

And finally, the screen went black and Beca was sniffling as she continued on her way up to her room. And for what felt like the hundredth time, she let Beca go. 

BMCBBMCBBMCBBMCB 

“Jesus, dude! Enough, you can’t just butt in like that! You have like… no sense of boundaries! …I shouldn’t have even told you…” 

That was the only time Beca had ever been angry with her since becoming her friend. And the very next day, Jesse dumped her. 

His and Beca’s relationship had turned sour during the last few months of their freshman year, and Chloe had offered what little comfort she could after their first argument. And then the next. And she was shocked when Beca got into the habit of coming to her every time, and very secretly she let herself feel a little special to be the only one that Beca trusted. 

Which was why she felt so terrible when she blew it. She had gotten too nosey about the details and too opinionated. The last straw was when she advocated for Beca and Jesse breaking up. 

She had been right, of course, because there were less than twenty four hours between her suggesting that it was the right thing to do, and Beca getting the phone call to end all phone calls. But Beca had still made a very good point… she was bad with boundaries. 

She knew she was, but so did everyone else, and most people either loved her anyway or faded to the background of her life. But the idea that she might lose _Beca_ over it scared her, so she had adopted a cautious approach to the brunette. Now for the first time in her life she had thoughts like ‘coming up behind her in the dark while she’s looking at her phone might be weird,’ and ‘telling someone you can hear them on the phone every night might not be appreciated.’ 

But the next morning, when the girls were all laughing over Amy’s weird dreams, she could only pay attention to Beca’s miserable face across the kitchen table. It was all such a strain on her resolve. 

“Beca, you look a little tired… you ready for today?” She tried as soon as there was a lull in the conversation. 

“Today?” Beca looked up from her coffee, looking exhausted but thankfully not in a bad mood. 

“Uh oh…” Fat Amy leaned forward in her seat. “Don’t tell me you forgot? You of all people need the most mental preparation for this.” 

“What?” Beca sat up straight. “What’s today?” 

“Today’s the day our fearless leader returns to check up on us,” Fat Amy said, solemnly. “Today is Aubrey day.” 

“Oh god, I forgot,” Beca moans, putting her head in her hands. Everyone but Chloe laughs at her expense, missing the edge in Beca’s eyes that says she really only has the energy to get back to bed. 

BMCBBMCBBMCBBMCB 

Upon Aubrey’s entrance into the Bella house, she had done a brief inspection of the property and interior, while the girls fell into a quiet line and watched on. To Chloe, it felt very much like they were at the mercy of a drill sergeant, but it didn’t overpower the affection she had for her longtime friend. She knew who the blonde was, and knew that strict habits like hers were hard to break. 

And then Aubrey was turning to them with a wide smile of approval, and there were hugs and squeals and excited chatter and she was glad to know that despite the frustrations everyone may have had with Aubrey last year, the Bellas really was a sisterhood. 

Sitting around the living room, they wound up serenading Aubrey with the highlights from their set list, taking turns jumping from their seats to demonstrate the new dance moves they had learned. Time away from school, they found, had actually taken its effect on Aubrey, and left the uptight blonde a bit looser. She complimented the girls easily and encouraged their performances, laughing with them and asking for encores. 

It wasn’t until their impromptu performances wound down that Chloe got a glimpse of the old Aubrey. In the midst of catching up, their new schedules became a topic, and it was just a small, off the cuff remark, but as the new captain Chloe was hit with “Choreography’s only twice a week?” 

And it was small, and no one really heard it, but the way their eyes caught when she said it spoke volumes to Chloe. Spending years working together meant that she could easily pick out that extra tone in Aubrey’s voice that screamed ‘judgement.’ But she let it go. Because Aubrey had been so relaxed until then and because she soon after moved the conversation onto something else. And Chloe always followed her lead. 

But just as the topics switched, she found that Beca was looking at her. _Really_ looking at her, with the kind of alert acknowledgement that shone through the brunette’s own sleepiness. And Chloe wasn’t sure, but she guessed that the younger girl could tell she had been a little wounded. 

With lunch came gossip from the girls and tales of adult life from Aubrey. Things were tough out there and unfortunately not everything came down to singing. In fact, almost nothing did, and that was the part of growing up that Chloe had been dreading since she could remember. Graduating would mean having to find a new place in life and she didn’t yet understand how. 

So she sat troubled and pondered whether or not she’d be able to land on her feet the way that Aubrey had. A nudge in her side had her turning to look into Beca’s smoky blue eyes and she smiled automatically, despite the concerned look she was getting. Or maybe because of it. How sweet this girl was, despite her standoffish demeanor. 

“…So make sure you remember to take your electives at the right levels or they won’t count. Don’t end up like Chloe.” Abrey said it with a smile from across the table, and again nobody noticed the pang that ran through her. Nobody but Beca. 

“Dude.” The little brunette piped up. 

Aubrey looked her way and her features shifted ever so slightly to ‘displeased’ as she took in Beca’s scowl. The two had a brief staring contest, but the meal went on. And so Chloe let it go, a little rattled but touched to know that someone had her back. 

Eventually they all went for a walk around the campus before Aubrey took her leave. Every building they passed brought up an old story, and she happily tugged Beca along by her coat sleeve, pleased by the nostalgia and everyone’s company. And secretly a bit giddy that Beca allowed Chloe, and no one else, small things like this. 

But then… “What about you, Chlo?” Aubrey’s voiced pierced through her joyous bubble. “I’m sure you haven’t slipped either, right?” 

“Actually, I… I’m not doing as well in my math course as I was last year…” 

The gasp Aubrey let out was faint, but still hardly called for, and she could sense it when Beca stiffened at her side. 

“Chloe, don’t your grades… concern you? You are at a _school_ after all.” 

Fat Amy barked out a laugh, and the other girls hardly payed any mind, but Beca’s arm slipped out of her grasp. In her peripheral it looked like Beca might be squaring up to fight. 

“Of course they do, Aubrey. I’m still doing fine. I won’t have trouble graduating.” 

“Slacking with the Bellas _and_ with your coursework? I’ve only seen you like this once before, Aubrey grinned. “Freshman year, remember? There’s a boy again, isn’t there?” 

“No!” The mention of boys had an uncomfortable weight settling in her stomach, and the back of her neck heating up. This was a rumor she absolutely had to quash. “There aren’t any boys, and I’m doing perfectly fine. Thank you. And what do you mean ‘slacking?’ You saw the work we’ve been doing with our set.” 

Abrey’s grin was predatory. She always had enjoyed watching people squirm, especially when she thought she was right, but as soon as she opened her mouth to take another shot she had to snap it back closed. 

“What is your problem?” Oh, Beca… 

“What is _your_ problem?” Once again Aubrey’s negativity had been drawn out and the two were having a quiet showdown comprised of eye contact and sneering. 

A chorus of ‘oooooooo’ came from the other girls, who jokingly started placing bets. 

“What are you picking on Chloe for, aren’t you guys supposed to be ‘best friends’ or whatever?” 

Something in the way she said it made Chloe wonder if Beca might be the jealous type. Or if Beca was completely oblivious to how high she ranked on Chloe’s list of friends. 

“I’m not picking on Chloe, I’m simply catching up. With my _best friend.”_

“You’re hounding her.” 

“ _No,_ we’re close enough that I can nag her for her own good. That’s only natural, isn’t it? Or is the whole ‘having friends’ thing still too new for you?” 

Beca came up short. 

“Guys, chill…” Stacie tried, the group finally sensing a shift in the mood. “We were just talking about the old days, we don’t have to recreate them, right?” 

“Anyone wanna tell that to Aubrey? She’s just as demeaning as she ever was.” 

“Easy, Beca…” Fat Amy said. “Chloe’s fine. Right, Beale?” 

“Yeah. Totally.” And Aubrey probably _was_ just nagging her for her own good. She was raised to be wound tight and persnickety and Chloe should have been used to it enough by now to shake it off. 

But Beca knew ‘totally’ was bullshit, if the look she shot her was anything to go by. And this time it was Beca that grabbed Chloe by her sleeve to tug her along. 

“…She hasn’t been sleeping lately…” Up ahead, the girls gave Aubrey excuses for Beca’s outburst, smoothing the blonde’s ruffled feathers pretty easily. 

Beca kept her head down. 

BMCBBMCBBMCBBMCB 

With the lights off it was easy for Chloe’s thoughts and insecurities to sneak up on her. 

She failed to graduate. She failed. While the other girls had their dream jobs in mind and their career paths to study for, Chloe was still drifting through life like only a freshman should be allowed to. 

How could it be that she was going on five years after graduating high school, and all she cared about was a singing group? A club. _That_ was the only passion in her life she could find? Making friends, living in a big house together like a perpetual sleepover… going on trips and putting on shows. She felt like she was stuck as a child. 

Usually the pressure to prep for competition was her distraction, but as soon as a spotlight was put on her, she crumbled inside. She was… humiliated. She was lost, and she wasn’t good enough. 

Faintly, she heard the front door click. It was time for poor Beca to begin her nightly brawl. Sighing, she knew she would likely never sleep tonight, but she rolled over and put her pillow over her head just in case it might help. 

Whatever was going on, Beca didn’t deserve it. Sweet Beca. She was a distant, cautious kind of friend, but that little ‘alt’ brunette was the only one who could tell that Aubrey’s casual remarks had cut her like a knife. 

And Chloe was realizing that she was the only one who could tell that Beca’s weariness was more than just ‘not sleeping well.’ She figured at least Fat Amy would have noticed by now, might have heard their bedroom door once or twice. But the other Bella’s weren’t questioning it. They weren’t seeing the red in her eyes or the brightness in them start to fade. 

Chloe noticed everything. The slight tremors in her hands as they made her coffee, the grogginess that was lodged in her voice until she downed two cups. She noticed the curve of her lips around her teeth when she smiled, and she could pick out which ones were fake. 

But of course… Chloe had always found herself observing Beca in a way that was unusual, even for her. From the very first moment she spotted her, she was intrigued. She simply _had_ to get her to join the Bellas, because there had been and immediate thrumming well up inside of her that demanded an excuse to get to know the young girl. 

During their early practices, she only had eyes for Beca, and she found herself glad for the first time that a newcomer was bad with choreography. She jumped on every chance to teach her up close and hands on. 

And… she simply _had_ to barge in on her shower. She hadn’t ever loved someone’s voice the way she loved Beca’s… so of course she had to stay in there with her as long as possible. And in that bathroom lighting there was something enchanting about the girl’s pallor. About the stormy blue that became so much clearer when her eyes widened in surprise… and in anger. 

She rolled over in bed. Remembering Beca being angry with her always twisted her guts with shame. She hung on Beca’s every word, after all, and in the same way that learning new things about her friend brought her unusual joy, displeasing her brought extreme upset. 

The door clicked again and Beca was back inside, creeping through the house, and this time Chloe could hear audible sniffling. What was her father thinking? A teacher, a parent, any adult should know better than to keep a college kid up so late when they have classes to worry about. Chloe wondered all the time what could be going on behind the scenes that Beca simply wouldn’t tell her about, would never mention even if she asked. And she was afraid to ask. Afraid of that extreme upset. Boundaries, boundaries, she had to remember to be considerate of how private Beca was. She couldn’t push…

So yet again, she let those soft footsteps sneak by her door and pad upstairs alone. Always alone…

Her heart lurched uncomfortably. More than it would for someone else. 

Before it was her self-deprecation that kept her up at night, the way she thought and felt about Beca used to be her biggest insomnia inducing puzzle. She had always wanted to experiment more in college, she knew that, used to joke about it. She wasn’t ashamed. A ton of girls did it, didn’t they? Wasn’t it part of the college experience? 

But… maybe that wasn’t the case, really, outside of movies. Because when she mentioned it, other girls would laugh and whistle, but now that she was older she was finding that no one she knew actually went through with it. And she actually felt… kind of seriously about it. 

Was she…? 

But these were _feelings,_ not lust. There was simply a soft spot in her heart more severe than she was used to. She wanted to wrap Beca up in a hug, not push her into the pillows… not… crawl on top of her, and… 

Beca’s dark, glossy hair rumpled and wild, falling against her face… panting… 

_Wait._

Her pale limbs bare against her sheets, taught, sweaty… 

Oh, _god._

She didn’t want… to… sink her fingers into those slender thighs and… spread them open? To know what Beca’s pretty voce would do when she was squeezed and stroked and sucked and rubbed. 

“This can't be happening,” She whimpered into the stillness of her bedroom. Her face flushed with embarrassment as she felt a thick dampness setting into the fabric of her underwear. 

This was probably one of those boundaries Beca wouldn’t be happy about her crossing. And so the shock of getting worked up so quickly over so little, over a _girl,_ was overshadowed by guilt. Above all else, she wanted to be a good person, and especially a good friend to Beca. And this was definitely not ‘friendly.’ 

Whatever this meant about her sexuality and however she was gonna feel about herself in the morning, she absolutely had to keep this on lockdown. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, at the end of this story I'll be asking for prompts over on my new tumblr, AliceKaneWrites so I can keep myself busy. If you wanna follow it's just gonna be gay shit and me taking writing requests.


End file.
